Help Your Preteen Resist
Peer Pressure
School
age children gradually become conscious of how their peers view them. By the
late elementary years, group opinion is very important. Standing against the
group means loss of friends and popularity. It is easier to compromise than
risk losing friends. You can help your preteen learn to handle this peer
pressure in a positive way.
Set limits ahead of time. Help your
child list areas where he won't compromise such as smoking, drugs, and
inappropriate behavior with the opposite sex. Set rules to help your child
avoid tempting situations such as not visitng a friend’s house when his parents
aren't home or not staying out past 9:00 on a school night. Help your child
understand the importance of boundaries.
Place the responsibility on your child.
Make him accountable for his behavior.
Let him face the consequences of broken rules. Some wrong doings have
natural consequences--if he listens to music instead of studying for a test, he
won't do well on the test. You may set additional consequences such as
restricted activities and more study time.
Give in when it doesn't matter. Some things are a matter
of opinion rather than conviction. When
it comes to taste in clothes and music you don't care for but are harmless,
give in. Avoid saying "no" without reason or without giving it
thought. Giving in on the little things will make it easier when you do have to
say no.
Support going against the crowd. Applaud
your child for standing up for your family's values Praise can soften the hurt
inflicted by the crowd. Point out to your child things that you do or don't do
that go against the norm such as not making illegal copies of movies you rent
although no one would ever know.
Look for positive alternatives. When
your child faces a situation in which he must say no, help find an alternative.
If he must decline a party at a friend's house because it's too late at night,
poorly chaperoned, or for other reason, suggest taking your child and several
friends out for pizza instead. Offer to rent movies and provide snacks in place
of an inappropriate activity.
Inform your child. Refusing to discuss sex
or drugs with your child doesn’t shield him from those things. He will find out
from another source. Provide your child with age appropriate information and
good moral values. Being informed will help him make the right choices when
confronted with the issues.
Children
face peer pressure from the moment they begin to play with other children. By
the late elementary years the in-crowd rules. Help your child learn to stand up
for what he believes now and it will help him throughout the rest of his life.
Resources:
Chapters 10 and 11 of The Middle School Survival Manual talk about standing up to negative peer pressure and applying positive peer pressure. You can order it at your local Christian bookstore or through amazon.com
Quiz 1 talks about being real, quiz 19 talks about handling peer pressure and quiz 20 talks about choosing activities. You can order it at your local Christian bookstore or through amazon.com
Why not order a copy today/ (They also make great gifts, stocking stuffers and an alternative to Halloween treats)
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