The
Importance of Christmas Traditions
When you remember your childhood Christmases, what comes to
mind? A traditional family dinner? A gift exchange with cousins? Caroling and
cookie baking? Christmas traditions are an important part of family life and
can be used to show teens the real meaning of Christmas.
Traditions show what is most important.
While many traditions revolve around church—like attending
the Christmas Eve services or special programs, or reading the Christmas story
from the Bible each year, not all meaningful Christmas traditions take place in
church.
For the DeAngulo family, sharing with others is one of their most
meaningful traditions. "One thing we do every year is help a family who is
feeling a financial hurt," says Jeanne DeAngelo. "We do the twelve
days of Christmas. We type up a poem that rhymes with the item we have for the
family. Example: On the first day of Christmas someone gave to me a box of my
favorite tea! Then we put a box of seasonal tea bags in a gift bag with the
poem attached to the outside."
The
family waits until dark and delivers the gift without being seen.
The
next night a gift is added. "On the second day of Christmas some friends
gave to me two free oil changes and a box of my favorite tea." The
DeAngelo family then leaves two gift certificates for oil changes. This
continues for twelve days with the same family receiving a new gift each night.
"On
Christmas Eve we give the final package and make it something really like $100
gift certificate to Walmart and a dozen donuts. We never reveal who we are.
There are fun times and lots of memories!" says Jeanne who feels the tradition
takes the emphasis off of themselves and lets them focus on others.
Traditions define the family.
Traditions that are passed down through the generations
provide a sense of family. These unique happenings may center on a family's
cultural heritage, beliefs, or lifestyle.
Jean
Wise says, "My parents had three sets of tiny wooden shoes they put on the
tree each year. One my dad brought back from Holland in the 30s, and the other
two were from vacations. We added a small set for each child and had their
names engraved. As they marry we give a pair to the spouse. When my first
grandchild was born earlier this month, my daughter said, 'We need a new set of
shoes for the tree.'" They are now the fourth generation to carry on this
tradition."
Traditions ensure time spent
together.
Holidays are a time for togetherness whether spent with
immediate family decorating the tree or by having a large gathering of extended
family members.
Bill and Christina Wyatt spend part of the holiday with both their
families. Bill's family comes over for Christmas Eve dinner and opens presents.
Then the Wyatts and their four children go to Christina's mother's home where
they stay up late wrapping presents and watching A Christmas Story.
"There are children in every room," Christina says. "On Christmas morning the kids are
allowed to eat whatever they wish and we have a present opening frenzy just
after they get into their stockings."
Traditions give a sense of
family or belonging.
Special Christmas activities are another way of bringing
everyone close. Sometimes traditions develop among certain family members as
with Eva Marie Everson and her daughter who hosted a Mother-Daughter Christmas tea for several
moms and teens when the daughter was a teen. "It meant we had to work
together on a project that was just as important to her as to me. We decorated
the house together, prepared the menu together, came up with fun
mother/daughter games. Every one dressed up, gifts were exchanged and the
Christmas Story was read. It's a special mother/daughter memory during an often
tumultuous time that will forever be remembered. Now, I have a 12 year old in
my home and I'm thinking, 'Maybe we should do that again!"
Traditions give a sense of
security, continuity and comfort.
Traditions that are observed year after year give a sense of
stability whether it's making the same kind of Christmas cookies or choosing a
name from an Angel Tree. No matter what changes take place as children grow up
or things within the family and economy change, these traditions remain.
The Christmas tree in Tim and Teresa
Cleary’s house is decorated with photo ornaments for each year of their
children’s lives. “My children enjoyed watching themselves grow up as each new
ornament was added,” said Teresa Cleary, mother of three. “When I started
running out of room on my tree, I decided that high school graduation would be
the cut off point for new photo ornaments. It was a sad decision, but each
child knows that those ornaments will be theirs when they have families of
their own.”
Starting a New Tradition
Don't
have many traditions? It's not too late to start. The best traditions are ones
that everyone can take part in and that are enjoyable for all.
The
traditions can start with when and how Christmas decorations are put up and
last through Christmas day or even beyond. Traditions may include special
church services or programs or community events such as a Christmas parade or
meal at the homeless shelter during the holidays.
When
starting a new tradition, ask yourself:
What would help my family focus on the parts of
Christmas that are most important to us?
What activities would allow us to serve others?
What tradition would reinforce our family's
uniqueness?
What is meaningful to each family member?
What would allow us to spend quality time together?
What traditions would be simple enough that we
could do them yearly with little stress?
Ask
your teens for their input. Something that might seem trivial or too young to you
might appeal to them. Our family's tradition was that each child received a
Christmas book on Thanksgiving. Recently the children decided they were too old
for this and we decided to build gingerbread houses instead. It's something that each
child from elementary age to teen could take part in, with the boys building
one and the girls another. Everyone enjoyed the challenge of keeping the walls
standing and decorating the houses with individuality.
Traditions are an important part of Christmas. If you don't already have
a favorite one, start a new one this year.
If you
think teens don't care about traditions, just try changing one. They enjoy
traditions more than they might let on. Here are some favorites from teens.
Putting
the tree up together as a family and baking and decorating tons of Christmas
cookies with my mom and big sister. Elyssa, 13
My
favorite tradition is a sibling gift exchange. We draw the names on
Thanksgiving and try to keep it a secret who we are buying for. Jessica, 17
My favorite tradition is the Christmas
Eve gathering at our house with my mom’s side of the family. She’s one of seven
children so when everyone gets together it’s a crowd. We have “cousin time” in
the basement while the adults are upstairs. Steven, 19
On Thanksgiving Day we take a family
picture that we use for our Christmas card. It's fun trying to get the perfect
picture. Sarah, 16
Need a new tradition? Here are some
simple ones you can start this year.
- Donate time to a charity. Serve at the homeless
shelter or deliver food baskets.
- Make your own holiday cards—everyone takes part.
- Take a Christmas picture each year in the same
location so you can see how much each child or teen grows.
- Deliver baked goods to friends or shut ins as a
family.
- Burn
a CD of your favorite Christmas songs. Play it each year as you open
gifts.
- Give
a turkey or ham to a needy family.
- Invite
a local military family or group of college students to watch a holiday
movie.
- Drive around town and try to find the most
extravagant light display and the most meaningful light display. Or have a Christmas display scavenger hunt.
What are some traditions that have been fun and meaningful for your family?
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